Okay. Finally I have enough time to make it to a coffee shop..well maybe its not that I finally have time, but since EVERY single coffee shop in Eagle River closes at 5pm, it requires me to get up before work and come in then. And in that case, it's simply a matter of forcing myself out of my cozy bed on rainy days like today. But nonetheless, here I am excited to sum up all of the events within the last few weeks of my crazy hectic life.
So after much prayer and convincing (on my dad's side), I was able to return to North Myrtle Beach for the last week of the project. It may sound selfish to leave my family during this tough time, but I had such an ache to return-one I couldn't seem to ignore. A good friend told me that we never know what could happen tomorrow, and I just had to trust that God would take care of my family for the week I would be gone. And though I know it was tough on my dad, and that he disagreed with my decision, it was a decision I had to make on my own. This was especially hard--it was really the first time I went through with something that my family didn't necessarily agree with. But am I glad I did! God is so faithful--I was able to get so much from the last week in project, starting with closure. I was able to return and end the summer on a better note, able to experience the last week those who I had come to love throughout the whole summer. I was able to surprise my best friend by meeting her down by the beach (and was full out tackled when she realized who I was!!) and had many similar experiences with other close friends! Needless to say I was welcomed with open arms!!
Following that Friday, we had a $5 prom (which was a blast!), I was able to go sharing on several occasions, and we had a big banquet to wrap up the summer. One particular morning, my friend Kelsey and I went for a walk (this had become a morning routine consisting of 4 miles of beach and amazing conversation!). She asked me what I learned about God through all of this and the emotions going on inside. I had to think about it for a few minutes, sort out my thoughts. And here is what I discovered.
While I was confused, upset, angry to leave, sad to see my mom once again going through a life threatening surgery, and even doubted God's sovereignty through it all, He revealed something to me. Looking back at the 21 years of my life, was there any time where I feel God "screwed up"? Any time where I feel like He wasn't there...knowing what He was doing. No way! Not once do I feel that He left my side, or wasn't in control. So why was I doubting Him now?! I know that in a few years (maybe in a lot of years!), when I look back on these hard times, I will see God's hand at work. I will not doubt that He was doing the right thing when He took me from North Myrtle, or when He brought my mom through another tough surgery. It was His perfect will.
So while, I made everlasting friendships and was able to share my faith with hundreds on the beach, I was also able to learn a little more about God's character-his unending love and faithfulness, and be reminded that He IS sovereign in EVERY situation, and no matter what, I can trust Him.
My prayer is this: if you are feeling abandoned my Him, losing sight of His sovereignty, look back on your life and be reminded of His hand throughout your life. God doesn't "screw up", and He'll never leave your side.
